Friendship: Between Blessing and Perdition
Friendship is defined as a relationship of mutual affections between
people and a stronger form of interpersonal bond.
Sociologists agree that friendship is what everybody needs in life and
it is almost practically impossible for a man to stay or exist without
a companion.
Since friendship or companionship is an important component and basis
in one's life, it thus worth a proper and a wise choice.
Many students and in fact adults end up in varying situations as a
result of the kind of friends they court, reinforcing the popular
saying, "show me your friend and I will tell you who you are."
Any error made in the process of choosing a friend could lead to grave
consequences with a chosen carrier or ambitions truncated.
Choosing a friend is indeed delicate for without it, our personality
is incomplete, yet one can rarely survive without companionship.
Hence, the need for serious prayers and sincere consultation in the
making of our friends and in the getting the best companions.
Sustaining friendship
Nevertheless, You need to be moderate in your friendship and keep
reasonable expectations from each other.
One of the sources of regrets in the Day of Judgment is for sticking
to a friend a person who only divert you from your goal in life, the
person who swerve you from the purpose of creation. .
ALLAH says: "Close friends, that Day, will be enemies to each
other, except for the righteous" (Qur'an 43 verse 67)
Qur'an also speaks of evil companionship:
"Oh, woe betide me! I wish I had not taken that one as a friend. He
led me away from the Remembrance after it had come to me. And ever is
Satan, to man, a deserter" (Qur'an 25 verse 28-29).
Types of Friends
» Sickness - This category of friends are not needed in our life
because it's clear that Sickness is not a true friend of man and
nobody needs such a friend.
» Medicine/drugs - this category of friends Is needed sometimes to
help in achieving fitness in our endeavors.
» Nourishment - We all need to nourish our soul/body. In this case,
we need these category of friends always. They are necessary in our
lives, They are unique personalities aiming to achieve success in this
life and the hereafter, You need to move with this kind of Friends at
all cost.
Importance Of Friendship
kind of friend, you've found a Comforter, a Motivator and a Beloved
Companion that would keep you moving, irrespective of the height of
obstacles and hurdles.
Friends have a lot of benefits for their beloved and only a good
friends possess the values below;
» They keep you moving and resist stagnation.
» They identify your weakness and repair it.
» They motivate you to be ahead of your mates.
» They remind you of your main purpose in life.
» They never leave you alone, They ensure you're always guided.
» They smoothen your relationship with God.
» They help you in managing your time.
Characteristics of a bad friend
A bad friend is not needed by anyone who aims to get to the peak of
his ambition. We all need to watch out because they are virtually
everywhere. It is a fact that any sheep that flocks around with a dog
would always consume poo. Among the traits of bad companions are;
¤ They lead you away from the Remembrance of Allah.
¤ They deviate you from the right path and the path to excel.
¤ They limit your ability to differentiate between lawful and unlawful things.
¤ They pollute your mind and thought.
The question may raise:- are these people to be abandoned?
Of course not. But you don't them as bosom friends. You don't need
close association with them. It is a duty to advise and guide them but
you don't ever affiliate or blend with them, for they are very
contagious.
Implications of Bad Friendship
¤ Distortion of your faith
¤ Distracts you from remembering Allah.
¤ Urges you into sinful act.
¤ Wastes your time.
¤ Makes you lose focus.
¤ Forgets you when you're out of sight.
¤ Cause you to regret in this life and hereafter
Beware of Bad friends they are distractions.
Now...
Assess your Friends
• What do we talk about when we are together?
Is it about God, academics, the righteous companies, growth,
development or mere gist?
• What do we do together?
Is it obeying God's commandments and the way of life of the prophets?
Do we study together or follow self desires and lust?
• Do you help each other in doing righteousness or committing evil?
• Do we waste our time together or manage it?
• Do you love each other for material benefits or for His sake
(sublime ambition).
Be reminded, according to Prophet Muhammad, among those that will be
shaded on the day of judgment when there won't be any shade except His
are two friends who love each other for His sake. They meet and on
depart for the same purpose.
The Prophet of Islam (PBUH) enjoined us to pray for a good friend:
" O Allah!, I ask you for love and the love of whoever loves you..... "
Remember, choosing a wrong friend may lead to regrets and perdition in
the Hereafter. So, choose a righteous friend and your success is
guaranteed.
A true friend is the greatest of all
blessings, and that which we take
the least care of all to acquire.
" It takes a minute to find a special friend, an hour to appreciate
them, a day to love them but an entire life to forget them "
AbdulBasit AbduSalam (Mujjahid), a member TRNG Writers Club is student
of Department of Geosciences, University of Lagos.
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